Oh Arizona

Oh how I figured out Arizona is not the state for me. It smells very different, especially in the morning and after it rains. I couldn't wait to get back to Texas. I love Texas. There is just something about Texas, ya know? People from Texas have alot of pride.. we do. How many people do you know from your state that will tattoo for example the state of Michigan on their body because they love it so much.. I know a couple of people who just love Texas so much that they have tattooed it onto their body. We take redneck serious down here.

Where is this post going? Yes, Arizona not about Texas and pride. So I was in Arizona for 9 days. Nine long days, nine days that left me emotionally and physically exhausted.

I have a cousin who is 5 years older than me that I grew up with. I am very close to her and consider her my best friend. She is one of the main reasons that I was able to get through college, she kept me motivated. She has been struggling for the past 7 years with anorexia and food restricting. It didn't become apparant to me until 2 years ago when it started to consume her whole life. The poor woman is the most career driven person I know, VP of her department in her corporation at 28, owns her own house, financially independent but something was missing. One day on her way to work, instead of turning left to get on the highway, she turned right and decided it was finally time to check herself into rehab, in Arizona. She drove to her moms house and they spent 2 days working out all the kinks and in 5 days, she was off.

She called me and told me what she was doing and I canceled my plans in June to fly to Chicago (on a days notice) and went to say goodbye to her for atleast 8 weeks. There would be no phone conversations, just good old fashioned letter writing.

She called me one day and asked if I would go with her mom to Arizona to attend family week and learn about her disorder and participate in her therapy. Let me tell you, it was not puppies and kittens. I felt so emotionally exposed and vulnerable and really struggled with having to be brutally honest with her about what her eating disorder has done to our relationship and myself personally.

I felt as if I was in family counseling, personal counseling, and marriage counseling all at once. Needless to say, wounds will hopefully start to heal and we can all start to move forward.

I definitely look at people suffering from addictions differently now. Having an eating disorder I learning is an addiction itself and it takes over every aspect of your life. Im not giving people with addictions a free pass but I can understand now how it takes over and you can't think of anything else.

So that is where I have been and what I have learned. I am exhausted today as I worked 10.5 hours for the first time in such a long time. Im exhausted. Literally. Have a great Thursday, this means it's almost the weekend!!!!